Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
