Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
