you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
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I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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