I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
