whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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