Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
