I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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