How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
