You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
