I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
