So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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