That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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