This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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