Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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