Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize