I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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