The maid of honor just puked.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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