i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
