Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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