last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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