i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
