He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
