In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
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The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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