if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize