I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize