BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
