Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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