There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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