At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
