even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
