I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
