just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
