you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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