oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
