Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
