Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
