Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
