I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
