Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
