I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize