Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
