This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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