I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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