people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize