My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
