this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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