i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize