She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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