Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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