People in love make me want to vomit
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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