I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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