ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
