FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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