I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I need a burrito and a hug.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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