Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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