if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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