Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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