Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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