If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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